Many years later he remembered
his experience with ice. It was not elaborate, it was not flamboyant, it was
not anticipated. But it was life changing, it was simply the first time he had
ever witnessed water in such an alien form in such abundance. From where he
previously came, even water was a luxury that a handful of people had the privilege
of witnessing in profusion. Ice was unheard of. He remembered, as he lazily straightened
his back on the soft, beaten leather of his living-room couch, as the hail steadily
beat on the tiles of his five bedroom villa, his reaction to the first time he witnessed
the miracle, because that is what is was to him at the time, of ice.
He
did not know how to react to the change in his surroundings. The light reaching
his half-open eyes was unnaturally white and clean to be from his home. The
last thing he remembered before loosing consciousness was being hit in the head
with a cold, hollow, metal object which seemed to ring with a menacing gong as
it came into contact with the flaking skin on the back of his head. He could
still hear the ringing when he woke up.
It seemed as if ages
had passed before he was able to convince his battered body to move from the
awkward position it was in. Only after he was sitting straight he realized just
how heavy every limb, every muscle, every movement was. As he sat motionless in
the unfamiliar light, which his eyes could not seem to get used to, he noticed
the presence of the unfamiliar sensation throughout his body. It was something
his body had never witnessed before. It encompassed every cell, every tissue of
his being. Even his head, littered with the warm blood of his own being, was
not spared from this unknown sensation. It was only later he was able to give a
name to that sensation. It was cold.
Only after his eyes
slowly adjusted to the light after what seemed like several hours was he able
to fully comprehend the predicament he was in. He found himself in another world
upon waking. For a moment he thought he was dead, and that the brilliant white
light was the atmosphere of the heavenly realm. But then he noticed the excruciating
pain in his head. As he fell to the floor, his hands reached out in front of
him expecting to hit the solid, discolored ground, but they continued to pass
through what seemed like softer, smaller models of the diamonds that he was
forced to collect in his home.
The pain subsided. It
was almost as if it wasn’t there anymore. The sensation had somehow been paralyzed
by the white, brittle substance that he could see in all four directions, and
even falling from the sky. But that is not what surprised him, neither how he
got to where he was. But what shocked him to the core of his very being was the
fact that he was finally seeing his color reflected all around him.
The people from where
he was from were all dark skinned, like the shadows of shadows walking the
dark-brown, dust filled land. He was an oddity from where he was. His skin and
his pale blue eyes had always been a cause of trouble for him. He was always
treated differently, always treated worse. Like a stray Labrador which had been
found one day amongst a pack of blood-thirsty, vicious, dark furred wolves. But,
for reasons unknown to him, he felt at home in the cold white sand of his alien
surroundings. He felt at peace to be away from the dirt, the gore, the blood,
the endless seas of sand and despair that encompassed his home. He felt that he
finally belonged in this strange white land.
But this feeling of
belonging did not last for long. His pursuers had realized that he had moved
from his original spot on the stark-white ground. He ran. As fast as his aching
muscles could carry his malnourished body. He ran till his limbs were almost
torn from their sockets, and he ran even further. He felt alive and secure in
his surroundings. He was wearing nothing from his waist above, therefore the
white of his skin melted in with the white of his surroundings. When he was
finally sure that he was alone in his desolate surroundings, he walked towards
where the sun was finally setting. He walked as a free man.
Every night he thought
of his first experience with ice and how it had welcomed him and saved him that
one night 50 years ago. He thought of how amazing it was that something as
simple as water frozen beyond a certain temperature could mean so much more. Then
he remembered that different things are of different importance to other
people. Different things have different meanings for other. That is why he was
a man that tried to never judge anyone by their appearance, unlike how he had
been judged as an oddity because of his white skin and blue eyes.
860 Words
I like the attention to detail and the strong creation of setting and moment. This would need some editing. In all of these you have some obvious errors and you tend to end on prepositions too often.
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